people ran forever today.

people like my friend jenny ran the marathon today. crazytown. i watched them in ft. greene thinking what the fuck..aren't yu tired because i'm getting dizzy just watching your asses..then came the guy in the wheel chair cruising up lafayetter ave backwards..just USING HIS FEET BECAUSE HIS ARMS ARE PARALYZED...and if that wasn't moving enough there was a young asian guy hauling ass with no arms but some seriously strong legs. i was inspired by all of them. run, bitches, run.

i had a great show at the back room on friday night. omg! what fun! i've been playing with improving alot on stage to help me get to the heart of what i'm really feeling because it always does and it was a blast. i think sean boy tapped it so maybe it will be up and about soon. he's so good with all that shit.

i need a new video camera..mine is old and everything looks blurry now...i bought it on ebay 6 years ago..and it was used then. Time for a digital upgrade...any suggestions?

my parents met the president:



not too shabby. wish i was there so i could be like hey can you executive order my comedy career and make it legal in every state for me to marry my darling dear? thanks, b. That's what i would say..or atleast that's what i think i would say but instead i'd just mutter that i love you..good work.

tomorrow i'm getting up early to go to an audition where i have 1 minute to tell jokes and impress a group of strangers. i feel the energy brewing people.

amy schumer and i chatted in Meg the dress shop while she picked out things for her comedy central 1/2 special...break dem legs girl!

the baby next door is crying..she has only 2 teeth. i would cry too.

i cannot wait to move back to the bk..it's like my year long manhattan residency is almost over...really living here is not what it's creacked up to be..you NEVER see the fucking sky. it's like living in a corn maze without the creepy children.

i went to paris and cussed out a shop keeper..he started it. when i wasn't busy fighting the locals i was in looooveee:




halloween came and went..chula dressed herself as a cave dog:




umm. come to my show it is hysterically fun and you will see comics that don't get the well deserved time cuz they are brown.

haha. just kidding. come to the show.

ok, ok, ok..

I know. I can only begin to explain with life took me by the collar and ripped it off. I've landed on my feet and so here I am again. I can't believe I started this so long ago. Ho hum. So here's the update..

I live in manhattan. I still have a dog. I have a fiance named sarah. She's amazing.

I don't have a house or mice or a subaru or a bbq grill or a garden or a mortgage or alot of stress. So that's good.

I've spent the last week and a half being the only black person in western michigan in a little place called good hart. It's nice here. Sunny most days, the lake is right outside the door and it throws me off everyday because it looks like a fucking ocean. Have you seen lake michigan? I mean really? Why did they call it a lake..it's the interior ocean of america, people. My in laws are a wonderful group of easy to laugh midwesterners. I'm not in New England anymore. We drink alot of coffee and talk about the weather.

i haven't seen any lesbians. just women who look like they should be lesbians. Sarah and I did some grocery shopping and I was actually causing cart crashes because people were so busy doing double takes of my afro. afro. afro. the humidity here is doing it great justice.

the big news last week was the break in at Tom's Mom's Cookie Shop. Who the hell would break into a cookie shop and steal a safe? Well some desperate bastard. The town was in an outrage and many people said it must have been an inside job? hahah. an inside job? right because you couldn't just kick the one lock wooden door in. anyway..it's nice that the crime here is so non threatening. Haven't heard a gun shot in 11 days.

Sigh. I miss NYC. Just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit. Can't wait to get back and report my findings to the masses at the TMR (Triple Minority Report ochi's lounge friday at 7:30pm) There better be people there..hahah...idle threats.

I've had three grass fed hamburgers in the last week and a half.

let me hear you scream.

so much to say...

it's been a while..this i know. There has been a tremendous amount of change rushing through my life in the last year..but tonight I sit here nursing a cold and decided...time to get back up on the damn horse. Enough of the silence. Silence because hmm how shall i say some people...let's call them spam brown read my blog and found it offensive or enlightening or funny or annoying I'm not really sure what spam thought really thought alas...i'm unemployed. But that isn't a pitty ploy in fact having free speech is a right that I'm willing to be liberated from slavery for. A wake up call! Run north, young artist run north! So here I am north and damn it's cold and it's winter. Not the best time to be a runaway but the universe will provide. Do i sound crazy? I feel a little crazy..maybe it's the cold medicine, the blurred vision, the oj.

I'm watching the pats vs. the giants. I hope the pats win..16-0.

SO now that i'm free i can say whatever i want whahahahahahahah...the price of freedom is high. So screw all of you. I'm not bitter..i'm liberated.

Another topic on the agenda..a friend of mine is going to go a get gay married on monday. We just talked all about it...whether to do it for love or health insurance. This is the thing now..we gays have choices..to be good citizens or sneaky ones who take marriage and throw it in the face of the government. I advise my soon to be married friend to think clearly about her pending nuptials. That no matter how passe the other partner may pretend to think the vows are...there is something to be said to be someone's wife. Just wait for when she introduces you as...my wife...not my wife who married me for health insurance. Don't be fooled. That's all I have to say...everyone wants to be married and the ones that don't are just kidding themselves and convincing themselves it's not for them. Funny enough I'm not sure where I stand on the subject.

sigh...anywayy...i wish them luck if they go down that route..that's all i've got to give. what else?

I'm hosting a new comedy show with my best bud cara kilduff. I'm really excited we're going to have a blast...bringing the funny every sunday night. You should come..it's only a 1 drink min. that includes sodas for all you drunks.


wendy's half time show.

when in africa....

one must always wear fatigues. I can hear it now "Lourdes, we're going to Africa. Home of our little black David. We must prepare for the journey. No we're not flying JetBlue you know better than that. Make sure you back your fatigues and a hat so you don't get burned by the hot, ass africa sun. Because it's going to be hot, africa hot."

ugh. Alas she's doing good work in her fatigues opening up a center of some sort. Atleast she's not riding a horse and wearing a hat with mosquito netting.

sigh.

hey.

First check out my latest Under the Pink Carpet episode..this was a fun and crazy night..i sound like I'm drunk at the end but believe me I'm not..this is because I was exhausted and loosing my ability to party with the big girls. Alas that evening was a fucking blast. So enjoy and check out the hot celesbians...ha!

It's night time and i'm not at work so i'm feeling slightly more liberated. I haven't been home lately..well wait that sounds weird. I haven't been home alot lately because I've been taking an acting class as well as...being in a play...a sketch group...auditioning...and working for money. So i'm tired but never too tired to enjoy a little free association.

I performed last night at the Postmark Cafe here in BK. It was a really sweet loving show. I did my character Jerri Beige..who is always fun and rude. She insulted alot of people last night but that's just how old people are..saying whatever the hell they want to when they want to..go figure.

Let's see...well this week was quite exciting for black people and white dummies alike. Don Im an ass got fired for forgetting that he was on the radio while having a "good ole boy session." Larry Birkhead is 500 million dollars richer with his lottery ticket that poops. There is a massive storm coming but lucky for me I purchased a utility pump earlier in the week so i can pump out my backyard...ahhhh..spring full of surprises.

i ate a hamburger tonight. It was delicious so go fuck yourself.

so much anger.

I was given the gift of a awesome title for my new show last night.. more on that in the months to come.

I'm looking for representation.

I think i found the farm that my ancestors lived on during slavery.

I love america.

Such fun filled raw history. I'm trying to think of a play idea for this humungus competition because i don't have enough to do.

I hate student loans. It's like being an endentured servant. see i can't even spell because i'm so broke.

The TV is on and I'm not watching it.

I only like two of my ex girlfriends as friends. The other ones suck ass and didn't even do that well.

Ha! That's funny.

I'm listening to the voice in my head.

Jimmy Kimmel is a funny square man. I can't believe Sarah Silverman sucks his dick. That just seems strange but whatever.

I'm going to be the god mother of these two beings, my nephews. Love them.

aha!

I've been wondering why my favorite lesbian bar is now closed. I mean I knew the building got sold and all that but I didn't realize that it was a part of a darker, deeper more evil development plan. Check out the evil work of the Extell Developers...slowly taking over the east village and the Upper West Side.



Looks like the next neighborhood getting the development treatment will be up at the north end of the East Village-- the Extell Corporation has bought up 17 buildings in a fifteen square block area between 10th and 14th Street. You may remember Extell from the building collapse they were involved with last year, their failed Atlantic Yards bid, or the giganormous luxury buildings they're building on the Upper West Side. Though the company claims they're not planning any demolition and redevelopment, neighborhood activists are getting worried:

"This type of acquisition, tenement housing, is a big departure from what Extell has done before," said Steven Herrick, executive director of the Cooper Square Committee, which is helping tenants organize for a Sept. 19 community board hearing on Extell's plans.

"Luxury development is unacceptable in our community, which has historically been primarily the working poor," he said.

We're betting the first towers start going up in early 2007-- companies as large as Extell aren't in business to operate small tenement buildings.

Developers like this try to say they are doing good things, improving the neighborhood, the only improvement would be to get the hell out.

On another note upcoming shows:

SMUT
"It's art that should carry a Parental Advisory label,
with some of New York City's best writers and performers."
--New York Times

Monday, Feb. 19th @ 8PM
Galapagos Artspace
70 North 6th Street (btw. Wythe & Kent)
Williamsburg -- L to Bedford
FREE
www.galapagosartspace.com

World Premiere of the music video "CHIPS"
starring Carolyn Castiglia and a host of NYC'sdopest comics! (i'm one, hoorah!)

VIDEO GAGA
Thursday, Feb. 22nd @ 9:30
Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
307 West 26th Street (8th/9th Aves.)
Cost: $5
Call 212-366-9176 for reservations

Hosted by the darling Sara Schaefer of "The DL" fame. This show rocks!


PVC: The POETRY Vs. COMEDY VARIETY SHOW
Wednesday, Feb. 28th @ 8PM
--see angela davison reading her black history month series!!!
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery
F Train to Second Ave.
$6
www.myspace.com/pvcshow

Happy V-day and Happy Black History Month!

awwww..that's sweet.


michael showalter..dishin it out.


that's him in the far upper left corner.



awwwww. now that's bitter sweet. hello everyone. it's been a while. caught up in lot's of fun things these days..i should be sharing them right? i know, i know. last night i did a show at Union Hall in BK. It was a great show..minus the crazy old man who yelled at one of the comics half way through the show and said he didn't think he was funny. Alas....in comes Michael Showalter. He was the closer and really gave it to the old guy with a nice dose of heavy sarcasism. I was screaming "You're horrible!!!" to the old guy because Micheal offered to give him his money back and the guy actually took it! Did i mention that this was a fundraiser for Develop Don't Destroy Brooklyn What an asshole!

i read an interesting book - post traumatic slave syndrome..check it!

vacation was beautiful....i'll put up pics soon.

ciao for now.